NYC

Ill be going to NYC soon for 2 weeks. Ill be documenting the entire trip. What i seek to find im not sure. I've been lost lately. well, since august..I cant sleep at home. I find myself drivin to work at 5 in the morning to get some sleep before work.

My surroundings seem to decieve me. Everything reminds me of her. I paint and think of only her. I write and the only thing that fills my blank pages are thoughts and memories of the time spent with her. I've been working on a letter for about 4 months now. Everytime i see it i rewrite it. Take certain things out and add certain things in. I look like a bum off the street... I havent shaved in months. The more time passes the more its an addiction to paint and write in this journal. It's addicting. All day i think about it. Everything relates to it. Is there a way to ask forgiveness ? Does forgiveness exist for what has happened between us ? who knows.

i just want to go home, but that place no longer exist.

For the few that read this stay tuned.. many things to come.

- efangel