Burnt umber studies

I started a study today for my next painting. Started with just a burnt umber sketch but the drawing grew so much i kept it at just burnt umber. looks pretty rad and i think ima do more of these.. this one only too me like 3-4 hours. also what i liked about it is thats a real study of anatomy. In other full color studies i see that i dont give much thought to the anatomy cuhz im so concentrated on color and temperature. trying to get the mixes right. So this was a faster so efficient i guess learning process. although the full color study is still essential and prob my next step i think this is another step added to my process.....

paint

Paint again has become a refuge for me.. in it i find solace. I find i cant sleep at night. Thoughts and regrets haunt my every thought. The note is almost done. How can i put words to something so deep and well.. no words can describe what i feel as of late. Days pass and suns rise as surely they will fall. I stare at the sun of dawn and the days first warmth floods the air. It smells diffrent. But i no longer feel the first lights warmth. It's been 4 days since i slept.

I've been working on this painting for a while now. There are days i don't even paint.. I get to

my studio and sit in front of it and stare. I stare and think.. Think of the past and i take to myself to those days. A happier place. When colors shined bright and the day started with enthusiasm. Now the colors are desaturated and the days start as the one before. They seem dull and repetitive. My first thought and my last thought are if i will ever see her again.